The previous week saw a string of events happening that made quite an impression.
I had some great conversations with people I only recently have met online, which put certain things in another light. A clearer light maybe... Meanwhile we were finally able to lighten the financial pressure a little bit, but we already feel that we have a little more room to breath. We suffered from a delay and all of a sudden it was being dealt with within 2 days... The crushing weight has been lifted ever so slightly.
I also received a wonderful gift from one of those people, Bee. She send me Ben Hewitt's The nourishing homestead. (He wrote more books, of which we have "Saved". My wife is reading it right now..) A wonderful book and you can expect a review of it soon.
Then I came across some blogposts; Andrea's, Revelation and Ben's Your life rocks, which equally made an impact and rung a bell. Make sure to read them... really. And finally we received a phonecall with the request for a meeting and an offer to continue the learning process of seeding and selling plants on a commercial basis, in the greenhouses again.
Simultaneously, or maybe because of these events, my vision of having a business of my own, which revolve around growing and selling young vegetable plants, came back, more vivid and stronger than before. As written about here; I have a dream... But I am also having cold feet.... Should I really pursue these goals, which would mean taking a second loan/mortgage? I know I should start out on a small scale and avoid scenario, but there is no room around here to do so.
Yet earlier on my wife and I had firmly decided that this year our first steps in real homesteading were to be made. Seeds to be sown, plants to be planted and tended, crops to be harvested and processed (hopefully!!) No more faffing about. Get it done!! And maybe, somewhere down the line, we'll find a way or an opportunity to combine the two.
It really feels like the time has come to act.... A higher calling or approaching spring messing with our thoughts and emotions. It doesn't matter. We will be off on a journey, a new adventure... Or commencing our present journey, yet taking the wheel in our own hands and setting out a new course. Feels like the wind in our sails is picking up, Let's just hope it will not turn into a full blown hurricane with towering waves coming crashing down. Rough seas ahead, but beyond the horizon new ports, new destinations and maybe even new lands to be discovered.
As I sat in my chair, reading Ben's book I was suddenly very aware of the moment. Wife and oldest daughter being out, shopping groceries, son is his own room, Rex at my feet snoring, the house silent, except for the kitchen clock ticking away.....
I watched my youngest daughter play, snuggled into a small, cosy corner between the couches and a bookshelf, with her favorite stuffed toy and her recently selfmade, out of socks and rice, snowman. She played silently, but I could see the plot and dialog, going on in her head, shown in her face. I don't know how long I watched her. 5,10, maybe 15 minutes, forgetting even the book on my lap... Until suddenly she jumped up and ran to her room, breaking the spell.... She went and got some stones to add to her play and I was once again thankful for the camera on my cellphone...
And outside the snow fell. A veil.... no, more a curtain of thick, wet flakes of snow came hurtling down, thawing up almost as fast as they fell, forming a thin white, mushy layer on the ground and leaving the thin twigs of the birchtrees hanging in a heavy, wet sadness... My tea had gone stonecold...